Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Future Self

Today's Reverb Prompt is: Future Self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)

It's kind of hard to tell myself advice five years from now since so many factors can change, and normally it's vice versa, about going back in time to tell your old self something of importance. I think maybe I would tell myself not to forget where you came from. Remember your roots. Things I've done when I was little and how I was reflected the real me, so I need to keep that in mind. Don't change for anything, you are who you are and never apologize for that. Keep your head up, things can get ugly, but it's the love of your husband, family and friends that will keep you rich in the years to come.

If I could go back in time and tell myself something when I was 10 years younger, I could probably write a book! 10 years ago, I was 20 years old, hoping to be 21 so I can drink. Thinking back now, what a waste! I should have cherished the time I had when I was young. I think I needed to learn a thing or 2 about love. By 20, I was in my 3rd long term relationship and all 3 I thought I was going to marry. Boyfriend #1 was my 'first' and I longed for him and I to be together forever, for that reason. Even though he hit me, abused me mentally and physically, I didn't care. My values and belief in my religion dictated that since I gave him my full self, I'd have to marry him. Boy was I wrong! The second one was the rebound one, and he happened to be a friend of BF#1. What a way to get revenge. He was great to me, but had no goals in life. He didn't have any $, no credit, no place to live, no job, no license (it got suspended years prior). he ended up living with me and my parents since he had nowhere else to go. I worked part time and went to school full time, and I had to be the one to pay for EVERYTHING. He was 7 years older then me and had nothing to show for himself. I had higher hopes for my life. Then came BF#3. he had a job, a license, a car, good family life, very minimal $ in the bank, but it was a 'step up'. He was a manager of one of the departments where I worked and we started off just being friends. He taught me how to drive his car (stick shift) and we really clicked as friends....but I saw a future for us, so being the bad girl that I am, broke up with BF#2 and dated BF#3. It's almost like I needed to be in a relationship. There was never a time in my life I was single. I was always attached. Looking back at my pictures and old life, I was always with a guy...there were never 'girls' vacations or anything, and I think I may have missed out on those good times. If I could go back to myself, I'd say 'enjoy life!' b/c one day, you'll be married and worrying about mortgages. Guys are just guys...they are a dime a dozen!

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