Everything's Okay

Today's Reverb Prompt is: What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?

I think that the Everything's Ok this past year was the day we got approved for life insurance. In the past, I dragged my feet on getting it. After we got married, we got a quote from a guy (who now turns out to be one of our good friends) for the return of premium so if none of us dies, we get what we put into it. Didn't seem bad, but it was costly. Besides, we both had jobs so if one of us died, the other would be okay. But lately, I'd been thinking 'we need life insurance' So we did it...we got the quotes, picked the company we wanted and dropped a check for the first payment. I kept calling the home office to see if we were approved or not (after the blood test, etc). Then it went to underwriting, and i recently found out we were approved AND we got a better rate after all our tests were done! YIPPEE! Now, if anything happens to DH or myself, the other will be okay and not have to worry about how to pay the mortgage.

New Name

Today's Reverb Prompt is: New Name - Let’s meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why?

Wow, what a random question! This is really easy for me. I always wanted the name Beverly. I don't know why, but I like it. I guess as kids nobody really likes their name, at least I didn't. My name is Beth. Just Beth. I can't tell you how many times I've been asked if it's short for Elizabeth. Nope, just Beth (My grandmother was named Elizabeth - you can do so much with that. Elizabeth, Beth, Liz, Lizzy, Betty. My grandmother went by Betty). There's just not much to do with Beth. And my middle name is Ann. I do NOT like to be called Beth Ann, other my family calls me that. I always say people don't go around calling them by their first and middle names, so stop calling me Beth Ann. My husband will do it on occassion to tick me off...and I return the favor...I call him Micheal George. LOL.

When I was in oh about 2nd or 3rd or 4th grade (maybe even after that, i don't really remember), I had an awesome teacher, Mr. Faust. He was really cool and I remember him vividly...his clothes (cowboyish), his very deep voice, his beard, etc. We had to do an exercise were we could be anyone we wanted, and we had to pretend we are now that person and sending him a letter, and pictures of what we were doing as famous people. I chose Jennie Garth from 90210 and I went by the name of Beverly Taylor (her last name in the show). I've always like that name, Beverly Taylor. Simple and to the point. So if I could choose my own name, I'd be Beverly Taylor.

Travel

Today's Reverb Prompt is: Travel. How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?

In 2010, I pretty much traveled by car. Since I'm afraid of flying and get motion sick sometimes, we are 'landlocked' as DH says. I don't like trains or buses (the smell gets to me) and I love boats, but last time I was out on a boat, I got VERY seasick. So cruises are also out.

Next year, we have a few travel agendas. First and foremost, hopefully Atlantis in Feb (late Feb, early March). We also have a plan to fly out to Vegas with his family since they go every year and we are avid poker players, and whenever we play in Atlantic City and I proclaim I've never been to Vegas, it gets quiet and you can hear a pin drop. We also won some tickets to Disney, so if we can find the time and money, we'd like to do that, if not, I can sell my tickets on Ebay or Craigslist.

Future Self

Today's Reverb Prompt is: Future Self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)

It's kind of hard to tell myself advice five years from now since so many factors can change, and normally it's vice versa, about going back in time to tell your old self something of importance. I think maybe I would tell myself not to forget where you came from. Remember your roots. Things I've done when I was little and how I was reflected the real me, so I need to keep that in mind. Don't change for anything, you are who you are and never apologize for that. Keep your head up, things can get ugly, but it's the love of your husband, family and friends that will keep you rich in the years to come.

If I could go back in time and tell myself something when I was 10 years younger, I could probably write a book! 10 years ago, I was 20 years old, hoping to be 21 so I can drink. Thinking back now, what a waste! I should have cherished the time I had when I was young. I think I needed to learn a thing or 2 about love. By 20, I was in my 3rd long term relationship and all 3 I thought I was going to marry. Boyfriend #1 was my 'first' and I longed for him and I to be together forever, for that reason. Even though he hit me, abused me mentally and physically, I didn't care. My values and belief in my religion dictated that since I gave him my full self, I'd have to marry him. Boy was I wrong! The second one was the rebound one, and he happened to be a friend of BF#1. What a way to get revenge. He was great to me, but had no goals in life. He didn't have any $, no credit, no place to live, no job, no license (it got suspended years prior). he ended up living with me and my parents since he had nowhere else to go. I worked part time and went to school full time, and I had to be the one to pay for EVERYTHING. He was 7 years older then me and had nothing to show for himself. I had higher hopes for my life. Then came BF#3. he had a job, a license, a car, good family life, very minimal $ in the bank, but it was a 'step up'. He was a manager of one of the departments where I worked and we started off just being friends. He taught me how to drive his car (stick shift) and we really clicked as friends....but I saw a future for us, so being the bad girl that I am, broke up with BF#2 and dated BF#3. It's almost like I needed to be in a relationship. There was never a time in my life I was single. I was always attached. Looking back at my pictures and old life, I was always with a guy...there were never 'girls' vacations or anything, and I think I may have missed out on those good times. If I could go back to myself, I'd say 'enjoy life!' b/c one day, you'll be married and worrying about mortgages. Guys are just guys...they are a dime a dozen!

Beyond Avoidance

Today's Reverb is Avoidance: What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)

I should have gotten on a plane!!!!!! I was both scared to fly and worried about money and the cost of the vacation to go. I'm trying to overcome this fear so that in 2011 I can go on multiple vacations...we'll see how it goes!

Healing

Yesterday's Reverb Prompt was Healing: What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?

I think that this past year, I healed myself, with the help of DH. See, I tend to worry way toooooo much about little things. If I get a papercut, I think I'm going to either bleed to death or I'm going to get an infection and will need to go to the hospital. And it's always right in the beginning of something happening that will cause me to worry so much, must without thinking rationally, which when it happens to someone else, I'm the rational friend they call to talk to. Over time, I've realized that over worrying is not worth the stress and to just take it one step/day at a time and really think about things first before jumping on anything.

Try

Today's Reverb: What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for it?

Oh this is an easy one. My 'try' for 2011 is flying in a plane! I used to fly all the time when I was younger, but I haven't flown since I was about 12 or 13 (18 years ago). Since then, we didn't really go on family vacations, so there was no need to fly anywhere. Then, when in college, I couldn't afford any far away vacations so I didn't have to fly. Then when I met my husband, our go to spot for a vacation is Atlantic City, which is an hour away, free or cheap rooms, free food, etc. So they are inexpensive vacations (right up my alley). I chickened out on the plane for our honeymoon. Yup, got on, then my DH took me off before takeoff. I don't know where the fear came from, whether is it's heights, claustrophobia, terrorits, getting sick, or a combo of them all. So since then, we haven't planned on going anywhere.

For DH's vaca in Sept, we had wanted to go away on a vaca, at the last minute. We coldn't decide where to go, then as time grew closer, my nerves got the better of me and we put it on hold. But now, 2011 seems like the year of vacations. We would like to go to Altantis as our 'honeymoon' (3 years later), Vegas with his family, Disney (I won 4 1 day parkhopper passes) and my parents want the whole family to go to Aruba as they celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary and renew their vows. That's 4 vacations we would like to take, all involving an airplane. I have xanax (had it for our honeymoon, but refused to take it) but I'd like to be able to 'mind over matter it' and do it without the aid of drugs.

so we will see if 2011 is the year of planes for me