Outside Looking In

So, yesterday, I had to babysit my youngest nephew (he's 6 and the cutest kid you'll ever meet, seriously, and I'm not saying that b/c I'm his aunt lol) and I took my best friend with me to keep me company and he obliged. So we pick up the little guy and off we go to his last t-ball game. Ah, memories. I played t-ball when I was a little youngun and my mom helped coach. Wow, my mom? Coaching a sport? I know it's true though, there's pics to prove that she was on the field with us, not just watching from behind the fence. Wow, I need to go off on a tangent here. I don't think my mom knows much about sports...but when her daughter (me) played field hockey, all I remember was her yelling out my name at the top of her lungs...'Go Beth Go!!!!' I could hear her above ALL the other mothers and I was sooooo embarrassed! I don't think she understood the specifics of the game, but knew that I had to get down to the offensive side and score a goal, and also play on defense and make sure the other team didn't score (I was a midfielder, so I did both offense and defense). But I digress. I was a tiny little kid playing...the helmet was bigger then my body and I'm sure that by looking at the pics that I couldn't see a damn thing with that huge helmet on my head. lol

Anywho, so off we go to his t-ball game. He's in the backseat of my mustang. I didn't think he needed a car or booster seat, but as soon as we went outside, my sister gives me his booster seat. "He still needs that? He's six!' She said 'Yes', then explained but I was too busy trying to get the damn thing in the backseat of my car. I remember my oldest nephew. I was with him a LOT when he was a baby. I did a lot of baby sitting and driving my sister around (13 years ago!). I had gotten my Mustang 11 years ago, and had a small car before that (1990 Celica) so getting the HUGE car seat in was a problem. Even with my little nephew, I still had to get that car seat in the back of the Stang...such a pain! So I get it in, get the directions to the ball field and off we go. My nephew was so cute! and my best friend is SO awesome with kids...he's a big kid himself! So off we go and my bff says 'I'm going to play on your team today, my uniform is in the trunk, I'm going to change when we get there' and they proceed to have a conversation...I don't remember what they said b/c I was trying to turn left onto a major road, but I remember smiling inside listening. Then I put on the radio and a new song comes on. don't know the name of it, but Pitbull's in it singing about drinking too much tonight cuz we might not get tomorrow and he's singing it!!!! It was ADORABLE! We pass my dentist and we talk about that. I tell him my bff needs to go to the dentist so he tells him to go. I ask if we can stop in now and have him see the dentist and he goes 'okay' he's so cute.

So at the ballfields (I'm getting to the point of my blog now) we watch him play (hit and play the field). Since the kids are so young, some are sitting not paying attention, some are playing in the sand and some are just standing looking into thin air. They run around the bases, catch and throw the balls, it was fun. Just not all the gnats...ugh! So, we are standing by 3 mom's and one has a little boy, maybe 3. And they are talking about mom things, like their hectic schedules, the schedule for t-ball, something about wearing extra protection because a boy got hurt somewhere else, etc. Total mom brain. What do I talk about? How much work gets on my nerves, trying to find a new job, my latest trip to AC, when I'm planning my next trip to AC, what new movie to see, etc. Total non-mom brain. but watching them watch their kids and talk about mom stuff totally made my heart hurt. I want that. I want a kid. I want to watch my kids grow up. I want to have a hectic schedule taking them from here to there, dance, ballet, sports, etc. I want to be a MOM. I ask my bff if I should have one, if he'd be happy to have a 'buddy' and he's like 'No, b/c you will complain the entire 9 months you're pregnant' Hmph...thanks. My parents say the same thing..."When you get pregnant, we're going to Aruba for 9 months' Hmph. Thanks for the support guys! LOL.

We've been talking more and more about it, and I think it might be about time. I don't know. I'm still iffy about the money and day care thing, but I don't want to wait too much longer because I don't want to be too old of a mom....so who knows.