Thursday, April 18, 2013

My Pregnancy: Confirmation and Telling Those Closest to Us

On Oct 19, we found out we were pregant. We were both ecstatic, scared, happy, nervous, all rolled into one.  That Monday, I called the dr. and made my appointment to confirm the pregnancy.  I was excited to have it confirmed prior to my parents leaving for Aruba so that we could tell the parents before they went on vacation.

I made my appointment for Nov 1st.  I guess it wasn't a rush to get me in right away as I had just found out, and didn't even 'miss' my AF anyways.  I was so excited, I couldn't wait.  My sister also couldn't wait for me to tell my parents b/c she was just as excited, or more excited for me to be pregnant.  My mom always goes to her house, or she goes to my moms after work, so it was hard for her not to spill the beans.  The day after we found out, they had the firehouse ribs in town and I just LOVE ribs.  So when my sister put on Facebook that she was going to get some, I asked for some, so she brought some over to me and was so happy and crying that she was going to FINALLY be an aunt.  Then I guess she posted on Facebook that she dropped some off for me, and my mom was like 'Oh that was so nice that you brought over ribs to your sister, I love my girls!'  Little did she know, she did it to feed her future niece or nephew.

Soon after we found out, Hurricane/Super Storm Sandy made her appearance in NJ.  The day it happened, DH stayed home from work as they were told to stay home.  He made me call out of work since he knew the storm was coming and didn't want me out and about (he's very protective of his pregnant wife!). So we stayed home together, and watched the news all day long. The storm hit that Monday (Oct 29th), but all during the weekend and that day, we were prepping for Baby Russo.  We had moved my BIG pantry from the spare room to the kitchen with the help of my friend and DH's brother.  They had no idea why we were doing so, we just told them it was easier to have it in the kitchen then the spare room, and they fell for it. That Sunday, the 28th, my best friend was set to leave for Vegas for the week for some car thing so it was good he wouldn't be here so I wouldn't spill the beans to him.  DH and I decided that we would confirm the pregnancy, tell the parents, his brother, then my best friend.  His flight got cancelled that Sunday and DH and I went to pick him up from the airport, and this was the day before the storm was set to hit us, but it had already started up the coast and they had to delay and cancel many flights, his was one to be canceled and he couldn't get on another flight.  I went to the airport and tried to get him on another flight, no go.  So now I was stuck with him being home for the week and praying I wouldn't slip.

After Hurricane Sandy, we were off for a few days, and his hub had no power, neither did my office.  I could come in and help out at the airport checkpoints, but DH said, no.  So we got to stay home for a few days.  It wasn't all fun and games though since we had no power, no gas, no hot water, no food, nothing.  My parents and his parents had hot water at least, so we got to shower there, but it's NO fun taking a hot shower to come out to a house that's 50 degrees!  I was miserable...newly pregnant, cranky, tired, cold, etc.  We would spend out days out and about, searching for gas, heat on in the car, charging our phones, etc.  We would eat at his parents house who had some nice lanterns and their house seemed to be warmer then ours (we have like NO insulation). 

The night before my Doctor's appt, we drove by to see if that town had power.  My best friend lives a few minutes from my dr and he got power like the next day.  So the night before, we drove by my drs office and there was lights on! They had power!  YAY!  So we went to my friends house to watch some TV and sit in the heat, so that was nice. 

When we returned home that night (complete darkness), I went into the back of our SUV and had to grab something from the very back.  I got on my stomach, not even thinking what I was doing, laid on my stomach to reach the very back of the truck.  When I finally realized what I was doing, I was like OMG and started with some severe cramping.  I was in tears.  We got inside and I went right to Google on my phone. DH was more worried about me being upset then what I did, being that it was sooooo early on in the pregnancy, but I was soooo worried.  I got like no sleep whatsoever.

DH had work the next day, I did not.  Actually, my boss called and said I could come in to help out, but if I chose not to, I would still get paid.  Um, yea, not coming in.   So that next day, I figured I'd sleep in a bit, then head out to fill up the cars and do some deals at CVS since many towns around us was getting power.  Plus, that night was my Dr. appt!  I still had cramps and all that so I was still worried.  While waiting in line to get gas, I called to confirm the dr. appt. I knew they would be open as they had power, but something said to call.  So I did, they weren't seeing any appts that day and I'd have to reschedule for the following week. Bummer.  I was in pain and wanted to see the doctor to make sure everything was okay.  I started freaking out.  My sister was at her in laws in NY since they had power, and she said if I had wanted to, she would take me to the ER to ease my mind.  I decided that's the best thing to do so I can at least be at peace.  She knew everything was okay, but try to tell that to a worried new mom to be! So I had to go to my friend's place first to tell him I wasn't going to hang out at his apartment while he worked (since he had power, DH and I were going to stay there until our power was back on, but during the day, he wanted me at his house so at least there was heat, TV, food, etc).  I went back and told him that my sister wanted to hang out with me so I was going out with her.  He was bummed, but understood.  So off to the ER I went.

WOW, what a pain THAT was...in the ER waiting room from about noon to about 730 before going to be seen by a DR!  I had called my dr. at around 4pm and told him. He figured it was just a pulled muscle, but since I was in the ER waiting room as I was told it wasn't much longer, he said to stay there, esp since I had no power and at least the hospital had power :)  Apparently everyone thought the same thing!  So DH finally came after work, and relieved my sister.  We got to the back and everything went quickly.  They took my blood, gave me a gown, made me do a urine sample, the works.  I wasn't able to eat all day, as the one triage nurse said that if it's an ectopic pregnancy and they needed to perform surgery, if I ate they wouldn't be able to.  So here I was in pain all day, hungry, thirsty, PREGNANT and can't eat...hmph. I did sneak some snacks when she wasn't looking :(  So I'm in the back and they are prepping me for an internal sonogram...fun fun.  I had one before when I had an ovarian cyst rupture off my ovary so it wasn't new to me, which was good.  So the guy comes to wheel me to the surgery room area, and it's one of DH's friends!!!!!!!  So of course he knew exactly what we were there for lmao.  Very nice guy, he promised he wouldn't say anything to anyone and was just happy to see DH and happy that we were expecting.  Such a nice guy.  So off to the internal sonogram.  DH and his friend were in the hallway talking, catching up, etc.  So as the tech is performing the sonogram, we hear the two of them in the hallway laughing, etc.  We start the sonogram and she said that since it's so early in the pregnancy, that we probably won't get a heartbeat.  Before she even showed me the screen, she asked if I wanted DH in the room...yes please.  So she got him, he came in the dark room and she showed us the screen....our baby....a little circle sac thingy....and a heartbeat!!!!!!!!  I was in tears that everything was okay and we got our confirmation.  She was able to print out some pictures for us to take home...yay!  So I get wheeled back to the room and we are just waiting for all the results of the bloodwork and urine, etc to be done, then we can be released.  I immediately wanted to tell the parents.  I called my parents, no answer, so we called DH's parents. They were up, but getting ready for bed. We told them not to go to bed yet and to make sure Joe (DH's brother) stays up to, we need to talk to them.  We finally get released, and I NEED to eat, so we hit up a McDonald's and went to DH's parents house.  And we told them....they were so taken aback as they were NOT expecting that at all. We showed them the pics and they were sooooo happy!  My parents still weren't answering (they leave their cells downstairs when they go to bed, and there was no power so they didn't know we were calling).  But at least we got one half the parents done!

The next day, we both went back to work (it was hard for me with the news NOT to share with everyone!).  We decided that after DH got out of work, we would go to my parents house and tell them, then tell my best friend.  So I went to my friends after work to watch TV, etc. then I said I had to go home for a bit with Mike, but we'd be back with Joe for dinner.  So we went to my mom's and my dad was SOOOOOOOO happy...moreso then my mom.  He still is to this day!  So that was good that we got it confirmed and my parents got to know BEFORE their vacation.  They also were not expecting it at all, but both sets of parents were ecstatic.

Then we left and headed to my friends house then decided on what to get for dinner.  We went out, picked it up and decided after we eat, we will tell him. So we ate, blew up the airbed in the living room as I was getting tired and knew I could fall asleep on the blow up bed while watching TV.  So we were sitting around after dinner and DH was giving me the 'look' to tell him. So I told him that the day before I was with my sister, but we were in the ER and it was me that was in the ER not her as I originally told him.  Then I told him I was pregnant, and thought I was having a miscarriage due to what I did and the pain I was in.  I then said everything is fine.  He flipped his lid, BIG time.  Instead of saying how happy he was or congratulating us, he yelled at me for lying to him about where I was and all. Then he was mad b/c 'everyone else knows and he's the last to know'.  I told him the only people we told were my sister, DH's brother and our parents, but he just felt unimportant that they all knew before him.  It was an eye opening experience for me, as well as for DH.  Yes, we've had our fights and DH knew about them, but DH always got one side of our fights, my side, so I'm sure he always took what I said with a grain of salt.  But now, this was being done in front of him and in front of his brother.  My friend got so mad, he stormed out of the house.  DH went to go look for him, but when he came back upstairs, he said his truck was gone.  So, pack up we did. I didn't feel comfy staying there, and I was so  hurt that I tell my best friend and this is how he reacted.  So DH and his brother started deflating the bed and I started packing our stuff, and he came back in the house. I ran to the bathroom with my phone and locked myself in there.  I was texting my sister.  He unlocked the door (um, hello, what if I was going to the bathroom???) and tried to talk to me.  I had nothing to say to him.  He went to grab my arm and I told him not to touch me and stormed out of the bathroom into the living room while DH and his brother packed up the air mattress.  So, my friend just started yelling at me, calling me names, etc.  DH finally had enough and yelled back.  DH is very calm and cool and since I've known him (9 years), I've seen him get angry twice, this being the second time (not one aimed at me!)  They were literally nose to nose yelling at each other.  I could see DH's brother getting uncomfortable b/c here's his little brother, defending his sister in law (whose pregnant).  DH's brother, on the other hand, is the one w/ the temper and to this day, I'm surprised he didn't jump over DH and knock my best friend out.  My friend just walked away from DH and we finished packing our stuff. I could hear him crying in his bedroom and for a second, I felt SOOOOO bad, but you know what, I had had enough of it at this point.  There's a lot of emotional stuff he had put me through in the past, and being pregnant, stress was one thing I didn't need. So we left.  DH parents know him as well, and when we dropped of my brother in law, his dad came down and they told him what happened, I didn't say a word, I was still shocked/stunned, etc of what went on.

The next day, my brother in law texts me that my friend texted him apologizing for what had happened.  He texted me as well and sent me multiple emails that weekend.  DH got not one apology.  That's what hurt me the most.  The person you yelled at, nose to nose with, you can't apologize to him, but everyone else involved got one. 

The next week at work, i got more emails from him, and finally emailed him back.  I wasn't nice at first, and told him that he didn't have the decency to say sorry to my husband for what happened.  So finally he apologized to him. 

We have since made up, but it's still rocky. We don't really hang out at all anymore but we do talk on text and email, etc.  I don't go into detail with him with what's going on, etc.  But it works both ways in my opinion.  Who knows what will happen with him.

Other then that, everyone else has been so happy to know we are finally expecting :) 

1 comment:

Precious said...

Hi Spagetti,

I am so sorry that your had such stress. But so glad to hear that you and the little one are doing well.