Friday, October 21, 2011

Having a Baby

This post is more a less a rant/vent about having a baby. I think I'm at the time in my life where it's time to have a baby and start a family. When DH and I first got married 4 years ago, he wanted to have kids right away, but I wanted to wait and enjoy married life with just us two and to get on more stable ground finance wise. We also live in a small 2 bedroom condo and never thought we'd have the room for a kid, or more then 1 kid.

Fast forward to now. We are pretty much stable finance wise, even though I'm not currently working due to my Army base closing last month. It's been 4 years of us enjoying ourselves and at this point, I think it's time to start a family. We're not getting any younger and I think 4 years as husband and wife is more then enough. I know we haven't gone on any real vacations other then AC, but that's what makes him love me. I don't need some expensive vacation to 'get away' AC is perfect...just an hour drive, free rooms, free food, gambling, boardwalk, restaurants, etc. That's why he married me, I'm pretty much a cheap date. Eventually I'd like to get to Disney with him. A lot of people say I needed to go with him first, just us two. But I don't know. Too many kids around, us not having any. I'd feel left out, Disney is a family place. I think I'd enjoy it much more with a little one.

So I've made the decision to come off BCP and I started taking folic acid. I did try the prenatal vitamins, but it made me pee so darn much, so I came off and took the folic acid. But I'm peeing a lot too, and maybe it's the folic acid. No Uti or anything, I got tested. So eventually I will go back on the PNV. So now, I have my mom telling me I don't want to have a baby. I've always been bad with pain in my earlier years. I'd get a papercut or a bloody nose and be like 'Why me? I'm dying!' I guess my mom remembers that and can't even imagine nine months of me being pregnant, let alone labor. But my mother in law says that if it was so bad, the pain that is, that people would have one kid and never have another. But people are having kids left and right. If they can get through it so can I, right?

I'm also a worry wart and worry about every little thing. My friend is now telling me that I need to be ready to have a kid up my ass for 18 years. Am I ready for that. Yes. I have never heard a mother say they'd give up their kids so they can have their freedom back. Since we were married, DH and I can do whatever we want, whenever we worries. But now, I will have a baby to worry about. My friend also says that I will have no alone time. I have no alone time now anyways. I don't like to be alone. That's why I always had a boyfriend. Never had a time where more then 1 week I was alone. I like the company I guess. I think too much when I'm alone.

So I don't know, my head is spinning and now I'm second guessing everything and it's a bad feeling. Moms out moms and old I just way overthinking this????


Mary said...

Really, none of my business. I don't get people who write a post like this and then moderate their comments. You either want to know what people think, or you don't. So why moderate the comments? I don't feel like I can give you my honest opinion knowing you'll just delete what I say if I hurt your feelings.

spaghetti0625 said...

I had it set to do that way back when I first set this up. And that way if anyone I know posts something personally about me (phone numbers, addresses, etc) then it won't go public. Just trying to protect myself and my bloggers. Has nothing to do with hurting my feelings.

Kathy said...

I can only say "I'm glad I had my kids young." I am a young Grandma now and can enjoy it all. If you wait until you are financially secure you will never have children Some people don's want to have children and that's fine too. We were so financially "insecure" when our first was born, we had to use gift money to buy a crib!!! I know you will make the best decision for you.

spaghetti0625 said...

Thanks for your comment Kathy. I wish I was ready to have kids young. But I'm glad I waited, b/c who knows where I'd be. I always had long term relationships and was ready to marry each one of them, but I'm glad I decided to wait until I graduated college to get married.....then after that, the guy I with completely changed and I ended up meeting my now DH, so I'm glad I waited. When DH and I moved in together, we realized ALL the issues that came along with homeownership and that's when I started being VERY frugal and couponing. I put a lot of money away as the years went on and now we are pretty much stable. I'm just more worried about pregnancy. DH is more worried about AFTER the baby is here. But when we sat with my BFF and actually spoke of what we were worried about, it just sounded so minimal the worries we had. My husband's BIGGEST worry is our condo. Whether or not we stay or rent it out and move into a house, I keep telling him and showing him blogs about people that have lived or still do live in a tiny 500 square foot apartment with one or multiple children. You make due with what you have is what I keep telling him.

I'm a worrier by nature, and he's more of a laid back guy, but I guess my worrying ways have grown on him.

Another silly worry is our cat. She's an only child type of cat. We can't have any other animals in here (cats, dogs, etc - we've tried), she won't be having it. She also doesn't like kids. When my 6 year old nephew comes over to visit, he will go to pet her (very softly) and she gets aggravated and groans and goes to swat at him. I'm 100% against declawing her, so we did not do that...however, I have told DH if we have a baby and she swats at him, I will declaw her. His reaction was instead of doing that, he will throw the cat out. Cannot do that, she is part of our family. Hopefully if and when we have one, Lucky will get along with her brother or sister :)

Kathy said...

I understand. Everyone is different. I know you have it all under control!!! You are still young, probably a very good age to start.