This post is more a less a rant/vent about having a baby. I think I'm at the time in my life where it's time to have a baby and start a family. When DH and I first got married 4 years ago, he wanted to have kids right away, but I wanted to wait and enjoy married life with just us two and to get on more stable ground finance wise. We also live in a small 2 bedroom condo and never thought we'd have the room for a kid, or more then 1 kid.
Fast forward to now. We are pretty much stable finance wise, even though I'm not currently working due to my Army base closing last month. It's been 4 years of us enjoying ourselves and at this point, I think it's time to start a family. We're not getting any younger and I think 4 years as husband and wife is more then enough. I know we haven't gone on any real vacations other then AC, but that's what makes him love me. I don't need some expensive vacation to 'get away' AC is perfect...just an hour drive, free rooms, free food, gambling, boardwalk, restaurants, etc. That's why he married me, I'm pretty much a cheap date. Eventually I'd like to get to Disney with him. A lot of people say I needed to go with him first, just us two. But I don't know. Too many kids around, us not having any. I'd feel left out, Disney is a family place. I think I'd enjoy it much more with a little one.
So I've made the decision to come off BCP and I started taking folic acid. I did try the prenatal vitamins, but it made me pee so darn much, so I came off and took the folic acid. But I'm peeing a lot too, and maybe it's the folic acid. No Uti or anything, I got tested. So eventually I will go back on the PNV. So now, I have my mom telling me I don't want to have a baby. I've always been bad with pain in my earlier years. I'd get a papercut or a bloody nose and be like 'Why me? I'm dying!' I guess my mom remembers that and can't even imagine nine months of me being pregnant, let alone labor. But my mother in law says that if it was so bad, the pain that is, that people would have one kid and never have another. But people are having kids left and right. If they can get through it so can I, right?
I'm also a worry wart and worry about every little thing. My friend is now telling me that I need to be ready to have a kid up my ass for 18 years. Am I ready for that. Yes. I have never heard a mother say they'd give up their kids so they can have their freedom back. Since we were married, DH and I can do whatever we want, whenever we want...no worries. But now, I will have a baby to worry about. My friend also says that I will have no alone time. I have no alone time now anyways. I don't like to be alone. That's why I always had a boyfriend. Never had a time where more then 1 week I was alone. I like the company I guess. I think too much when I'm alone.
So I don't know, my head is spinning and now I'm second guessing everything and it's a bad feeling. Moms out there...new moms and old moms....am I just way overthinking this????